July 2011
Around the World...and Back Again: Why do females think its cute.... →
waydown2mars.tumblr.com
Why do females think its cute to claim they’re living the “thug life”. I see that a lot on FB and twitter. First off, half of these people aren’t even from the ghetto and are def not “thuggin”. Secondly….THAT ISN’T CUTE! Like seriously, anyone who’s lived the “thug” life isn’t trying to stay…
Song Of The Day - I Almost Let Go
So yesterday, I was at a breaking point. I aint even gon lie, I wanted to quit. Everyone keeps yelling about how I cant do it and blah blah blah. But just when everything was falling apart, I got a phone full of texts of my besties teling me to hold on & fight for ME. And I realized, there are a LOT of people who DO believe in me. The people who should dont, but Im alright with that. Im HAPPY with the friends I have, I love my daddy, Im grateful for my uncle Jason & mi big brother. Yall reminded me what was important yesterday & yall gave me reason to kep going. And with that I present my Song Of The Day:
Kurt Carr - I Almost Let Go
I ALMOST LET GO.
I FELT LIKE I JUST COULDN’T TAKE LIFE ANYMORE.
My problems had me bound
DEPRESSION WEIGHED ME DOWN.
But God held me close, so I wouldn’t let go.
God’s mercy kept me, so I wouldn’t let go.
I ALMOST GAVE UP.
I was right at the edge of a breakthrough but couldn’t see it
The devil really had me;
but JESUS CAME & GRABBED ME,
And He held me close, so I wouldn’t let go.
God’s mercy kept me, so I wouldn’t let go.
So I’M HERE TODAY BECAUSE GOD KEPT ME.
I’m alive today,
ONLY BECAUSE OF HIS GRACE.
Oh, He Kept me,
God Kept me,
He kept me,
So I wouldn’t let go.
I ALMOST LET GO.
I FELT LIKE I JUST COULDN’T TAKE LIFE ANYMORE.
My problems had me bound
DEPRESSION WEIGHED ME DOWN.
But God held me close, so I wouldn’t let go.
God’s mercy kept me, so I wouldn’t let go.
So I’M HERE TODAY BECAUSE GOD KEPT ME.
I’m alive today,
ONLY BECAUSE OF HIS GRACE.
Oh, He Kept me,
God Kept me,
He kept me,
So I wouldn’t let go.
You, you, you don’t know what I’ve been through & how I went through it Depression had me so far bound that I didn’t know who I was
Oh, He Kept me,
God Kept me,
He kept me,
So I wouldn’t let go.
Second Song Of The Day - The Cure
I wanted to keep my tumblr special for my daddy but I felt like this had to be posted TODAY. Anyway, people that call themselves family have been making me angry… REALLY angry… But I call my Kady boo, and txt my Sade & Chelz & Steve & Fos & we talk. And I realize something. I may never have a mother who loves me unconditionally, or siblings who have my back. But I DO have friends who care more than anything. They dont even HAVE to be there but they CHOOSE to. And they deserve more than what the past has made me to be. Ive grown up a lot under their care. Outing my anger in more productive ways & whatnot (haha). So today, this song goes to Kady, Foster, Sade, Chelz, Steve, Wes, Padre, Tah, Yo Psi, Samir & Chris. I <3 yall for coming by to talk, letting me vent, giving me a place to lay low, or just chilling with me. Everything yall do makes me a better person; whether yall realize it or not. They taught me to hate, and yall taught me the cure for it. And with that I present my song of the day:
India Arie - The Cure
Picture This:
Theres a girl who was raised to believe that love is suffering
She grows up and the man like a father gives her a wedding ring
Now she walks around; her CONSTANT companions our: RESENTMENT, FEAR & SADNESS
The lack of laughter turns to cancer, this song is dedicated to her
The WORST DISEASE IN THE WORLD
Its not cancer, its not aids
The cure will not be found
By any physicist or scientist
THE CAUSE & THE CURE lives in every single one of us
THE WORST DISEASE IN THE WORLD IS HATE
AND THE CURE FOR HATE IS LOVE
Oh love, oh love, oh love
Picture this:
Theres a boy who was abused when he was 12 years old
Now GUILT lives in the pit of his stomach and even though hes grown
HE BELIEVES HE DESERVES TO BE PUNISHED, NOW HE LIVES HIS LIFE FAST & RECKLESS
Searching for love, growing older & helpless, this song is dedicated to him
The WORST DISEASE IN THE WORLD
Its not cancer, its not aids
The cure will not be found
By any physicist or scientist
THE CAUSE & THE CURE lives in every single one of us
THE WORST DISEASE IN THE WORLD IS HATE
AND THE CURE FOR HATE IS LOVE
Oh love, oh love, oh love
It may seem
That im looking at the world through rose colored glasses
I believe that its so simple but sometimes it looks complicated
Gods love is like sunshine; it’ll stay whether or not it’s recognized
The most powerful energy in the universe
And ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS USE IT
You may think
That theres nothing in the world that you can do but that aint the truth
The fact of the matter is A BETTER WORLD BEGINS WITH YOU
Be the best person you can be
Pass those values to your family
And when you pray for those you love
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer
Say a prayer
Say a prayer
Say a prayer
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer for humanity
Say a prayer for humanity
Song Of The Day - Daddy
So today is my daddy’s birthday! My entire life; he’s been the ONLY person I’ve EVER had. I freaking love that guy! He aint perfect, but he’s there. He stands up for me, even if he has to stand alone. And for a kid who grew up in my household, that means A LOT. Till the day I die, my daddy will forever be #1. And with that, I present my song of the day <3:
Beyonce - Daddy
I remember when you use to take me on a
bike ride everyday on the bayou (You remember that? WE WERE INSEPARABLE)
And I remember when you could do no wrong
You’d come home from work and I jumped in your arms when I saw you
I was so happy to see you (I was so excited, so happy to see you)
BECAUSE YOU’VE LOVED ME I’VE OVERCOME
And I’M SO PROUD of what you’ve become
You’ve given me such security
No matter what mistakes I KNOW YOU’RE THERE FOR ME
YOU CURE MY DISAPPOINTMENTS AND YOU HEAL MY PAIN
YOU UNDERSTOOD MY FEARS AND YOU PROTECTED ME
TREASURE EVERY IRREPLACEABLE MEMORY and that’s why…
I want my unborn son to be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE MY DADDY
And I thank you for loving me
Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. (Beyond belief) Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy. Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.
I still remember the expression on your face
When you found out I’d been on a date and had a boyfriend (My first boyfriend, you should have seen your face)
I still remember I caught you crying cause of my tattoo
Could have said Beyonce I told you so
Instead you said you’d get one too (Even my mama said y’all get one just like mine)
Words can’t express my BOUNDLESS GRATITUDE for you
I appreciate what you do
You’ve given me such security
No matter what mistakes I KNOW YOU’RE THERE FOR ME
YOU CURE MY DISAPPOINTMENTS AND YOU HEAL MY PAIN
YOU UNDERSTOOD MY FEARS AND YOU PROTECTED ME
TREASURE EVERY IRREPLACEABLE MEMORY and that’s why…
I want my unborn son to be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE MY DADDY
And I thank you for loving me
Even if my man broke my heart today
No matter how much pain I’m in I will be okay
Cause I got a man in my life that can’t be replaced
For this love is unconditional; it won’t go away
I know I’m lucky
Know it ain’t easy
Men who take care of their responsibilities
Love is overwhelming
Lord why did you pick me
Can’t stop my tears from falling
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DADDY
My unborn son to be like my daddy
I want my husband to be like my daddy
THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE MY DADDY
And I thank you for loving me
(Thank you, you’ve done so much for me. I love you daddy.)
I get so emotional daddy, every time I think of you
I get so emotional daddy, every time I think of you
There is no one else like my daddy
No one else replace my daddy…
#TeamDeportThemHoes. That Is All
Oops
So Im stupid because I dont think like you. Oops. Im Incompetent because I dont listen to the LIES you tell about me or the people in my life. Oops. Im worthless because I spend more time reading & self educating than I do playing house maid. Oops. Im a pointless dreamer because I have high expectations of myself and refuse to settle for average. Oops. And I’ll never be ANYTHING because I have the GUTS to stand up for whats right regardless of the backlash. OOPS.
Well damn, ya know what, I dont have anything to apologize for. But lemme play the “bigger person” here. I apologize that I believe in myself even though you dont. I apologize that I say what I feel even though you’ve tried forEVER to silence me. I apologize that Ive grown enough self esteem to stop being a punching bag & a scape goat.
Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. Happy now?
But don’t expect me to change. Im PROUD of who I am. And I could care less what you have to say about it. My regards to your “ruin Melissa campaign” Im too strong to be ruined. Find a new hobby #POW
Why?
You get to the point where you wonder what’s the point of living? It’s like you’re playing a game and not only do you have the losing hand; everyone around you is cheating. And you cant go get new people to play with either. You’re stuck in this unwinnable game; everyone’s taunting & mocking you & you’ve already lost EVERYTHING. So why keep playing??
Song Of The Day - Not Ready To Make Nice
So yesterday it took all my energy not to go off and tell two people in my house about themselves. Frankly im a little SICK of everyone wondering why Im so angry. And im a little sick of the two people in my house that KNOW why im so angry acting retarded. No daddy, im not “turning the other cheek”. And where in the hell does Fair get off texting me with some “I know we mistreated you & neglected you for years but be nice to us anyway”?? -________________- Where in the HELL do they do THAT at?? Fyi people, im not being nice to people who spent 16 years of my life beating the living daylights out of me just because they had a bad day; telling me I was worthless; talking mess about the ONLY person (my daddy) who ever believed in me; and calling all of Europe to talk about me like I wasn’t in the room to hear what you were saying. Now yall wanna be salty cause im done being yall’s punching bag & scapegoat & I actually said it publicly. EXCUSE ME FOR GROWING A BACKBONE & SOME SELF ESTEEM. If its a real big issue, I suggest you take it up with Jesus cause dont nobody care but you and him! Im NOT acting like nothing bad happened in this house. PERIOD. Frankly, yall done hated me for the majority of my life anyway, so yall can continue to hate me. I done made it this far without yall’s love & support and I can continue to do so. And with that I present my song of the day:
Dixie Chick - Not Ready To Make Nice
Forgive, sounds good
FORGET, IM NOT SURE I COULD
They say time heals everything
But I’M STILL WAITING
I’m through with doubt
THERE’S NOTHING LEFT FOR ME TO FIGURE OUT
I’ve paid a price
And I’LL KEEP PAYING
I’M NOT READY TO MAKE NICE
I’M NOT READY TO BACK DOWN
I’M STILL MAD AS HELL and
I DON”T HAVE TIME to go round and round and round
IT’S TOO LATE TO “MAKE IT RIGHT”
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’M MAD AS HELL
CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO DO WHAT IT IS YOU THINK I SHOULD
I know you say
“Can’t you just get over it?”
IT TURNED MY WHOLE WORLD AROUND
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge?!
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’M NOT READY TO MAKE NICE
I’M NOT READY TO BACK DOWN
I’M STILL MAD AS HELL and
I DON”T HAVE TIME to go round and round and round
IT’S TOO LATE TO “MAKE IT RIGHT”
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’M MAD AS HELL
CAN’T BRING MYSELF TO DO WHAT IT IS YOU THINK I SHOULD
I’M NOT READY TO MAKE NICE
I’M NOT READY TO BACK DOWN
I’M STILL MAD AS HELL and
I DON”T HAVE TIME to go round and round and round
IT’S TOO LATE TO “MAKE IT RIGHT”
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’M MAD AS HELL
WON’T BRING MYSELF TO DO WHAT IT IS YOU THINK I SHOULD
What it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
FORGET, IM NOT SURE I COULD
They say time heals everything
But I’M STILL WAITING
Play
Song Of The Day - Corazon
So today, my Spiritual Warrior (Kady) sent me an uber long text explaining how she felt about life and why things were so difficult… And the whole time all I could think was: “THATS HOW I FEEL!”. I didn’t have any advice to give, for we are slick in the same situations in a nutshell (minus my extra “baggage” lolz). But I CAN say: you’re not alone love. And for the first time in my life, I dont feel alone in my situation. And you shouldn’t feel alone either. I got you; if no one else does, I do. Us hurt kids gotta stick together so that our past doesn’t ruin our future. Somehow, someway, we gon figure it out. Together. I love you hun! And with that I present my song of the day:
Prima J - Corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
Sometimes I just dont get it and I dont know why
YOUR HEART ALL UP IN IT AND IT STILL DONT FLY
Girl I KNOW, yeah I KNOW
Sometimes YOUR FEELING SO LOW and YOU GOTTA MAINTAIN
9 outta 10 of them run the same game
Girl I KNOW, yeah I KNOW
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
He acts like your man but he got girls on the side
PAIN MAKES YOU HIDE but the truth dont lie
Girl I KNOW, yeah I KNOW
Dont run away keep it real with yourself!
DO IT FOR YOU NOT FOR NOBODY ELSE!
Girl I KNOW, yeah I KNOW
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
If you thinkin about bailain out IMA MAKE IT BETTER!
Dont worry bout falling down; WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER!
Corazon corazon
NO, NO, YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Corazon corazon
You know those days are gone
If you thinkin about givin; up dont you keep on runnin
Stand tall keep it real PRIMA J gon keep you goin
Corazon corazon
NO, NO, YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Corazon corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
Baby THOSE DAYS ARE GONE!
I promise you it willl get better, better
Corazon a corazon
Dont worry; YOU’RE NOT ALONE
GOTTA KEEP MOVING ON
You know that its gonna get better better
Corazon a corazon
I promise you it will get better better
Corazon a corazon
Song Of The Day - Get It Together
So yesterday, after some intense prayer & a lil soul searching… I realize alot of my fears, pains, demons, etc, all trace back to ONE incident… January 14th, 1997… And today, Ive decided that for the sake of not only my future, but for the future of the little one to come, I gotta get it to together and let it go.
India Arie - Get It Together
One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No ONE HAS THE POWER TO HURT YOU LIKE YOUR KIN
Kept it inside, didn’t tell no one else
Didn’t even wanna admit it to yourself
And now your chest burns and your back aches
From 15 years of holding the pain
And now you only have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way
GET IT TOGTHER, You wanna heal your body
GET IT TOGTHER, You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
GET IT TOGETHER
You can fly fly!
Dark future ahead of me
That’s what they say
I’d be STARVING if I ate all the lies they fed!
Cause I’VE BEEN REDEEMED FROM YOUR ANGUISH AND PAIN!
A miracle child; I’m floating on a cloud
Cause the words that come from your mouth
You’re the first to hear
Speak words of beauty and you will be there!
No matter what anybody says
What matters the most is what you think of yourself!
GET IT TOGTHER, You wanna heal your body
GET IT TOGTHER, You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
GET IT TOGETHER
The choice is yours; no matter what it is
To choose life is to choose to forgive
You don’t have to try to hurt him and break his pride
Just shake that weight off and you will be ready to fly!
One shot to your heart without breaking your skin
No one has the power to hurt you like your friends
Thought it will never change but as time moved on
That ugly duckling grew up to be a swan
And now your chest burns and your back aches
Because now the years are showing up on your face
But you’ll never be happy
And you’ll never be whole
Until you see the beauty in growing old
GET IT TOGTHER, You wanna heal your body
GET IT TOGTHER, You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
GET IT TOGETHER
GET IT TOGTHER, You wanna heal your body
GET IT TOGTHER, You have to heal your heart
Whatsoever you sow you will reap
GET IT TOGETHER
You can fly, fly, fly, fly.
You can live or you can die.
You know that life is a choice you make!
You can give or you can take!
You can fly, fly, fly, fly.
You can fly, fly, fly, fly.
I dont like who ive become…..i LOVE it
Song Of The Day - I'll Trust You
Continuing my prayerful ask for guidance… Im gonna continue to trust that higher power, because somehow, it’ll all come together. I know it will!
James Fourtune & Fiya - I’ll Trust You
Even though I can’t see and I can’t feel your touch
I will trust you Lord; how I love you so much
Though my nights my seem long and I FEEL SO ALONE
Lord my trust is in you; I surrender to you
So many painful thoughts travel through my mind
And I wonder how I will make it through this time
But I trust you
Lord it’s not easy
Sometimes the pain in my life
Makes you seem far away
But I’ll trust you
I need to know you’re here
Through the tears and the pain
Through the heartache and rain
I’LL TRUST YOU
Everything that I see
Tells me not to believe
But i’ll trust you lord; you have never failed me
MY PAST STILL CONTROLS ME
Will this hurt ever leave?!
I can only trust you;
No one loves like you do
So many painful thoughts travel through my mind
And I wonder how I will make it through this time
But I trust you
Lord it’s not easy
Sometimes the pain in my life
Makes you seem far away
But I’ll trust you
I need to know you’re here
Through the tears and the pain
Through the heartache and rain
Through the tears and the pain
Through the heartache and rain
Through the tears and the pain
Through the heartache and rain
I CAN;
I WILL;
I MUST;
trust you!
I CAN;
I WILL;
I MUST;
trust you!
I will trust you! I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I will trust you!
I’ll trust you, I’ll Trust you, I’ll trust you, I will!
I’ll trust you, I’ll Trust you, I’ll trust you, I will!
I’ll trust you, I’ll Trust you, I’ll trust you, I will!
God will make a way!
God will make a way!
God will make a way!
God will make a way!
